Marketing Concepts!

 

Professor at IIMs explaining marketing concepts to Students  

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. “Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing”  

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.” -That’s Advertising”  

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me – That’s Telemarketing”  

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” – That’s Public Relations  

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition  

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – “That’s Customer Feedback”  

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. – “That’s demand and supply gap”  

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she  
goes with him – “That’s competition eating into your market share”  

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – “That’s restriction for entering new markets”

Mission Vettikkaran – Part 4

Why I’m writing this comedy is a good question. Its not to mock the characters in it, but to make a mock of 2 of my friends in my company, who are Lol for Vijay!. I of course don’t hate them or Vijay, but tried making a mock to tease them to most extent.

Read on….

___________ Office Scene___________

Cast : Interviewer [Mano Bala] & Dr. Vijay [Starring himself]
Intro Song : Kodi parakudu… Kodi parakudu… Kodi parakudu…

Dr. Vijay   : Ngna vanakkam ngna .

Interviewer : Pakkaraduku, Ondipulli senthil maadiri irrukiye…Nee yaaru?
Dr. Vijay   : Tamil naatu la enna pathu yaaru nee, nu ketta mudal allu nee than…
Interviewer : Dei paannada.. Idhu Bangalore da venna…
Dr. Vijay   : Sorry sir. My name is Dr.Vijay..

Interviewer : ‘Dr’ na… Enna MBBS ah?
Dr. Vijay   :  Illa saar.
Interviewer :  Appo FRCS ah…
Dr. Vijay   :  Illa saar… Ennaku vekkama irruku sir…

Interviewer :  Appo Compounder padichitu doctor aniya … Enna ____ ku kudutaanga da unnaku Dr pattam?
Dr. Vijay   :  Theriyangnaa… Theriyala… [Music – Thenpadi Semmaiyile… ]
Interviewer :  Dei… Dei Dei.. Nilluthu… Idhalaam naanga ‘Naayagan’ le paatutoom… Pusuda eddavudu try pannu…
Dr.Vijay    :  ngaa.. Appo “Enthiran” try panalama ah nga?

2nd question          : Dei.. Kaduppu ethhada da.. Where are you from?
Dr. Vijay   : Naan porandahadhu Sivakasi, Vallandadhu Triupachi, Beeer adichadu Madurai la, Moore kudichadhu
Thirumalai la…

Interviewer : Dei.. Un Ooru pathi keta, ellam flop padam peru sollitu irruke? Seri.. Any great men were born in this village?
Dr.Vijay    : No, sir.. Only small babies..

Interviewer : SSLC fail ana passangalakku llama Dr. pattum kudukuraan paaru.. Avan na serupaala adikkunum…
Dr. Vijay   : Sir, Ennoda adutha paduthukkaga punch dialogs prepare aaitru . Plz kelungale

Interviewer : Sollum.. Solli thollaium…
Dr. Vijay   : Naan oru dhaduve blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. (after half an
hour).

Interviewer : Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Sorry ba.. Thungiten..
Interviewer : Nadika varala na neenga enna aayirupinga?
Dr. Vijay   :   Naan IAS aayirupen sir…
Interviewer : Nadika dhan varlaye… Appuram en IAS aagala…?
Dr. Vijay   : ?

Interviewer : Ok.. Ok.. Feel panadae..
Dr. Vijay   : Sollunga sir…
Interviewer : Tommrrow, NASA unna moon expedition kku kuputu pooranga…
Dr. Vijay   : Honey moon kku saar… Aiyo.. Naan moon laam paathade illa sir.. Pl. sir.. pl. sir..
Interviewer : Eppadi allyaraan nu paaru! Dei.. Idhu ‘Nilla’ da…
Dr. Vijay   : Goyyala…….. Yaara ematha paakkareenga… Nalleku ” Ammavaasai “
Interviewer : ~!@#$%^

Interviewer : Seri.. Free.. Nee naadicha, oru hit padam peru sollu..
Dr. Vijay   : Sir… Yenna neega Out-of-syllabus laam kelvi kekarenga?
Interviewer : Sollu da panni payalle..
Dr. Vijay   : Once more sir…
Interviewer : Nee naadicha , unnku pudicha , oru nalla padam peru sollu..
Dr. Vijay   : Sir, Once more sir…
Interviewer : Dei pannada.. lodu mandaya.. Nee naadicha oru padam peru sollu..
Dr. Vijay   : Sir, Once more sir…
Interviewer : Oh.. Nee sonadu andha “Once more” ah? [Peru ah paaru.. Thu..Thu..]

Dr. Vijay   : Sir… Ennoda song konjam kellunga…
Interviewer : Ippo thalaata poriya.. Sollitholla.. Kaadha pottikiren…
Dr. Vijay   : Hey Ramaa .. Ramaa .. Ramaa .. Ramaa .. Raaaman kitta Villu ketten..
Bhima .. Bhima .. Bhima .. Bhima .. Bhimaan kitta gadhaya ketten..
Interviewer : Ivaaloum keetiye.. En-da.. Prabhu deva kiitaa kadhaiya ketiya da?
Dr. Vijay   : Illa sir.. Mahesh babu sir kitta DVD-rippu ketten ne…
Interviewer : Oh.. Adum Keetiya?
Dr.Vijay    : Ammanga naa.. Adhayum kettutom la..

Interviewer : Seri.. Next enna pannalaam nu irrukinga?
Dr. Vijay   : “Sura” nu oru padam panitu irruken sir?
Interviewer : “Sura” va.. Appo puttu pannalaam…

Dr. Vijay   : Sir… “Sharks” sir “Sharks”………
Interviewer : Enna Socks ah.. Theatre Naarama irrunda seri… Ok…. Ok…. Eppo Releaseu? Pongal ah / Diwali ah?
Dr. Vijay   : Naan solla mateen… sollave matten…
Interviewer : Why? En release date ah solla matringa?
Dr. Vijay   : Sagara Nal Therinjuduchu Na Vazhra Nal Naragamaidum sir..
Interviewer : Thevidiya naaye.. Punch kuda neeye solla maatiya da.. [Thu thu… ]

Interviewer : Unga adhutha film 100 nallu odum la..
Dr. Vijay   : Illa sir.. 200 nallu odavaikuren…
Interviewer : Joke adikaada pa…
Dr.Vijay    : Yaru 1st
joke adicha.. Neengala naaana?

1st question          : Where are u from?
Dr. Vijay   : Nee endha ooru, naan endha ooru mugavari thevaiyilla…

2nd question        : Blade arukkuraan ne… Tell me abt ur self?
Dr. Vijay   : Ella pugalum oruvan oruvanukke, nee nadhi polae odikondiru…

3rd question         : What is C language?
Dr. Vijay   : Pallanathu.. Pallanathu…u…u..u..u… Yaar kaiyilum sikkamalae Vaal aanathu…u….u…..

Dr. Vijay   : Xsa-cuse me sir… What is d result sir?
Interviewer : Dan da na daar na…. dandanakku darna…

Dr. Vijay   : ??????????

(Vijay Comedy : End of Part2)

___________ Stadium Scene___________

Vijay       : Hi Dhoni… Haaw aaar u.
Dhoni     : Hi.. I’m fine.. Ok.. Thanks
Vijay       : Hey… Sorry ennaku Englipish theriyaadu..
Dhoni     : Dei… Ennaku unnaiye theriyadu da… Apporam ekkududa English laam..

Vijay       : I’m a great star in south you know…
Dhoni     : Appadiya.. Hey Balaji, you know this guy.. Apun ko ‘star’ bolttha hain saala..
Vijay       : Vannakam ngaa.. Enna theriyala ya?
L.Balaji  : Dei.. Unna ennga yo paatha maadiri irruke?

Vijay       : Nallavela.. Neega enna paathu “Yaaru da nee” nu kekala.. Illa na oru periya dialogue sollirukkanum…
L.Balaji  : Dei.. Santhi theratre la… rockets, mutta, thaakaali laam, poriki seconds la vikaravan maadiriye irrukiye…
Vijay       : Illa ngaa, naa nijammave oru star!

L.Balaji  : Nambaramadiri yedavudu sollu da perika mandaya..
Vijay       : Anna… Neenga Thirupachi, Sivakaasi, Madurai, Thirumalaai laaam paaturikeenglaa?
L.Balaji  : Dei pannnaada, line ah ooru perula solluriye.. Nee yenna bus conductor ah?

Murali     : Machi.. Inda saniyaane engayo paatha maadiri irruku, anna ivan facekum pechukkum sambandame illaye….
Vijay       : Deivaamee.. Naan than na ‘Dr.Vijay’
Murali     : Nee doctor ah… Loyola la kuppa kutturavaan maadiriye irruke….
Sachin   : Dei.. Enna padichirukke?
Vijay       : Ada ponga na… Naanga SSLC fail la…

L.Balaji  : Machan.. Ivan villan veshathukku kuda layakke ille ye, ivan eppadi da hero nu sollikiran?
Murali     : Adhu onnum illa machan… Kalaaam kaari kalaaam… Panningallaku makeup potta kuda kai thaturadukku
allanga irrukanga da..
Vijay       : [Crying] Enga ngaa idhu, Naan ivalo solluren, innomum enna naamba maatirunga?
Murali     : Appo nadichi kaami oooi… Nadichi kaatum…

Vijay       : Kaadu naa na puli…

Murali     : Nilluthu… Nilluthu.. Hold on.. Time please…
Vijay       : En boss?
Murali     : Dei paanniku porranda naaye.. Nee pulli ah?
Vijay       : Ammmangana… Idhu la yenna  sandegam?
L.Balaji  : 1 Question – Nee kotta edutha puli ah, illa kotta pudungadha pulli ah?

Vijay       : [Crying] Vendamm…
Murali     : Seri.. seri.. Allada.. Continue…
Vijay       : Kaadu naa naan singam, Kadal na naan sura, vaanaam na naaan minnal
Dhoni     : Veedu naa nee TOILET
Sachin   : Roadu naa nee DRAINAGE
Bhaaji    : River naa nee KOOVAM, ‘natham’ summa suthi suthi adikkum.

Vijay       : “Once More” chance kudunga na…
Sachin   : Kya re saaalee… Haamen maaja ah raaha hai.. Bool… Bool saaale bool…
Vijay       : 1 song    – Kuruvi Kuruvi Paarandha… Kuruvi Kuruvi Paarandha… [Music]
Sachin   : Dei.. Mudala “Kuruvi” ah Ooda sollu.. Apporam rakka kaati parakalaam….

Vijay       : “Once More” chance kudunga na…
Bhajii      : Saleee.. M** ka ***t.. Bollo re.. Kya….
Vijay       : Then Then Then, un .. la.. la.. la.. [Music]
Bhaaji    : Paen Paen Pean… un thala yellam paen. Enga thalaya aarukaama oodi poidu…
Vijay       : Last chance sir..
L.Balaji  : Seri da dog.. Sollu..

Vijay       : Sir, I want to talk to my paatherr..
Dhoni     : Fat`too saala… Baath kar…
Vijay       : Appa, enna inga CSK romba naara adikiranga pa…
SAC        : Feel panna kudadu… Ok.. Daddi solluren la.. Evvalo asingapatu irrukom… Idhu laam jujube!

Vijay       : Appa.. Romba kalaaikiranga paaa…
SAC        : Beta.. Nee onnu pannu.. Unnoda padam DVD annupuren… Adha pottu kaaami..
Vijay       : Aiyo appa.. Adhu dhaane Director Gautham kuppa thotti la odachi pottutaru..
SAC        : Maaganee, un apppan unnakaga oru backup eduthu vechirukeen da…
Vijay       : En pa.. En…
SAC        : Yen na unnaku pennadi vaara Sangathigal,  idha paathu, purunji nadandhukku vanga..
Vijay       : Dhanks pa… Neenga romba naalaavaaru pa… Adhutha janmaam nu onnu irundha naa unga maagan ah than
porrakkanum!
SAC        : Aiyoyo.. [Phone clicks]

Vijay turning to audience

Vijay       : Yaaru adicha pori kellambi boomi aadhiradhu kannula theriyido avvan than da Vijay! Naan than Vijay..
L.Balaji  : yaru nadichi DHARANI padam kuda flop aagutho…….
PRODUCER kanla pori kalangi thanni varudo…….
Avan danda Vijay….. Ivan than da andha Vijay..
Maar do saaalee ke kuthee…
Murali     : Adingda aavnaaa, kekuravan Vijay fan madiri maakana irundha KURUVi oscar pogum nu solluingalae da

[Vijay gets beatings from all cricketers + 9thara] – Censored!

___________ Home Scene___________

Dr. Vijay : Ennadi seerial pathutu aluthukitu irukka …….
Wife        : Dai nalla paruda, ithu namma kalayana c.d ……
Dr. Vijay   : …?? ?????????????????????

___________ Studio Scene___________

Raghuvaran :        Enna Arunachalam, 30 nallu la 30 kodi ya eppadi selavu pannapore?
Rajini :      Hee. He.. He..
Raghuvaran :        Enna pa sirikire?
Rajini :      Jujubeee… Vijay-a vechi oru padam edupen!

———- ——-  (Vijay Comedy : The End) ————— ———-

Mission Vettikkaran – Part 3

Vijay goes for an Interview!

___________ Day 1 : Exam Scene___________

Mahesh Babu & Dr. Vijay are writing Interview exam:

Vijay  : Mahesh… konjam answer kattunga
Mahesh Babu    : Telugu paper da idhu, unnaku tamil paper da
Vijay    : Parravala adha kattunga, naan tamila REMAKE pannikuraen
Mahesh Babu       : Idhuku picha edukalaam
Vijay    : Yevalavo panrom idhu panna maatomaa……

___________ Day 2 : Entry Scene___________

Cast : Watch man [Goundamani] & Dr. Vijay [Starring himself] & 1 Dog

Dr. Vijay : Ngna vanakkam ngna!Unga office ivalavu periya Naai iruke, naan ulla vandha kadikuma?
Goundamani    :   Ennaku therinchu oru Nai inoru Naiya kadikadhu. Ulla vaa…

Dr. Vijay :   Naa.. Naan opening song ille na ulla vara maateen na…
Goundamani  :  Seri.. Seri… Paadi tholla…
Dr. Vijay :   “Naaan Adicha thaanga matte…Naalu massam thoonga matte, vettuku ollunga poi sera matte”
Goundamani    :   Dei… Perika mandaiya… Nee thirundave matte da!
Dr. Vijay :  Eppadi namma paatu…
Goundamani :   Nayeee… Poster patha thaanga matta… trailor patha thoonga matta… padam paru.. veedu poi seramatta. Idhu paattu!

Dr. Vijay : Sir, naan oru vati mudivu panniten na yen pecha naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane keke matten…So only music laam…
Goundamani :  Neeeeeeeeeeee ye keka mateae.. Apporam, naan yeduku da kekanum da perika mandaya…

Dr. Vijay : Ippo ulla pollalaam ah na….
Goundamani :   Ulla poi tholla naaayee…  Vandutangada kevalama dhaadi vechikittu…

___________ Interview Waiting Scene___________

Cast : Clerk [Simbu] & Dr. Vijay [Starring himself]

Simbu    :  Vijay Yaru.. Vijay Yaaru.. Vijay Yaaru..
Dr. Vijay :  Dei.. Nee yen ivaalo kathure? Nee yena sound service la vellai pathiya?

Simbu    :  Yaaru da.. Vijay? Yaaru da.. Vijay? Yaaru da.. Vijay? Yaaru da.. Vijay?
Dr. Vijay :  Yaaru adicha pori kellambi boomi aadhiradhu kannula theriyido avvan than da Vijay! Naan than Vijay..
Simbu    :  Dei.. Mudaam.. Idha munnadiye solla kudadu… Thonda thaani vaathipoochu da…

Dr. Vijay :  Dr. Vijay nu sollu pa.. Give respact.. Take respact…
Simbu    :  Unnooda “Kadhalukke Mariyadhai” illa.. Approm enna da Peruku Mariyadhai paanada..

Dr. Vijay :  Adhu seri… Nee yen eppovum over ah kaka-vazhipu vanda maadri adhitu irruke?
Simbu    :  Nee kaalla attura.. Naan kai atturen.. Yenna unna maadri yennakum “Nadika theriyadu pa.. Nadika theriyadu”
Neega mattum “Appadi podu.. Ippadi podu nu” adalaam.. Naaga.. Ippidi Appadi adakudada?…

Dr. Vijay :  Simbu sir, Neenga Paithiyathoda idhukku munnadi paesi irukeengala?
Simbu    :  Illa sir.. Idhu than 1st
time! Manager waitingu… You goingu….

Simbu    :  Seri… Enna paadichiruke?
Dr. Vijay :  SSLC da dubuku…

Simbu    :  Naan aandha kaalatula, 7th
pass la… District 1st
Gold medalistu… Poiyum poiyum bail aagitu Intro song kekudu
paaru… Kaisada…
Dr. Vijay :  Dei, kaarradi ku porandavane, naan SSLC da beku…
Simbu    :  Hee.. He. He.. Naan 7th
pass ngna.. Neenga SSLC fail ngna… Pass perusa fail persusa? Perusaa solla
vandutaan…

Dr. Vijay :  Enna koduma saravanan idu…Poiyum poiyum.. Oru Ajit fan kitta asigapatutome…
Audience: Aarasiyala idhalaam romba saadaram appa…

To be Continued  (Vijay goes to Interview… Part 4 in progress…. )

Mission Vettikkaran – Part 2

Mudiyala!

This is in response to your undersigned mail reg. the scheduled Go-Live….

—— —— —— —— —— —— Start of Mail Extract —— —— —— ——

Hi Wipro’s Namma Banglore’s Namma Sarjapur’s Namma Vijay association presidents’,

I’m attaching the important confidential docs.  Reg. the FAQ pamphlets to be circulated today dated December 18th , 2009 (GO-LIVE!) at all theatres. Please check for the same for spelling, grammatical, pheonotical, logical, mythological & astronomical gross errors!

PFA. Kindly do the needful. For your reference & action as appropriate. Thanks.

—— —— —— —— —— —— Attachment —— —— —— —— ——

Information Brochure

Illa thalaphaati Sir. Knight Dr. Vijay (SSLC fail)  – Frequently asked questions

1. How to watch Dr.Vijay™’s films?
2. Wait – you’re saying Vijay™ changes my brain chemistry?
3. Isn’t Vijay™’s that kind of dangerous?
4. When is Vijay’sTM Film release?
5. If so, why is VijayTM  hated?

1. How to watch Dr.Vijay’s films?

Answer: Well, to comprehend the long version of this answer, you’d need a PhD (from MIT or Stanford, natch). The short version is, our brains process Vettaikaran’s stills, periodic images & trailers from technically definable idiotic box, on a channel  — name unmentionable (* Name changed on request Clue: which is providing lot of solar energy +TV)’s periodic commercials & poster’s data (further meant to be eaten by organisms whose names start with 1st alphabet & end with ‘s’ twice) by sending electrical
impulses called neurotransmitters between billions of neurons via axons running between synapses, much the way buses travel  between theatres, or certain restricted Category PG+ files travel between felonious suburban teenagers or like wildfire Vijay  mails travelling around a Soap, Bulb & Baby Nappy Company©’ mails, flooding thousands of inboxes & bloating thereby creating an virtual network ‘deadlock’, which cannot be pre-emptied unless a parallel distributed mail server functions! The molecular compound that
fuels thalapathy’s films speeds up this process by increasing one’s headache (otherwise called thalavali), among various startling feats of neuro chemical legerdemain, limiting the activity of the enzyme monoamine oxidase. You think faster – and feel better. Eat healthy. Think better! Tin tin ti tin…

Definitive Argument :
You work better under tension, right? Yes!
You work after you read a mail, right? Yes!
So, that’s why you must watch VijayTM films

2. Wait – you’re saying Vijay™ changes my brain chemistry?

Answer: Um, yeah – but for the better.

What’s more, through our patented real-time DNA-scanning process, VijayTM SSLC FAIL’s, Vettaikkaran is 4D RDX (Not 2D like ‘Asal’ or 3D like James Cameroon’s ‘Avatar’!) actually able to “take a picture” (Recall this – “Naan adicha piece” dialogue from Pokiri,  where Vijay™ mentions the same & takes a futuristic snap shot of the villain) of your genetic profile, reconfigure its molecular composition on the fly, and subtly alter your brain’s intricate mosaic of axonal patterns in order to facilitate even f aster cognitive processing.

3. Isn’t Vijay™’s films that kind of dangerous?

Answer: Well, none of the lab rats (includes some Guineas from Soaps, Bulbs & Baby Diapers Inc ©) who’ve been watching this stuff for the past 10 years on over 49+ different kinds of specimen films have keeled over yet, which we find fairly reassuring. At any rate, you should be aware that by popping off the seat, you send a wireless signal to Soaps……Inc ® IS Team’s MyWipro
servers indicating your irrevocable acceptance of the Vijay’sTM Vettaikaran’s Terms and Conditions, which do include the possibility,
however remote, of hideous genetic mutation resulting from your vision, loose motion plus nausea & night blindness from this  film, and his beating you can’t withstand. (VijayTM’s 3rd clause in MyData module states : Naan adicha thanga matte!) & you might not be able to sleep up for 4 months. We’re pretty sure you won’t die, though. Be happy, when VijayTM can survive, why not you! Think positive!

4. When is Vijay’s  Film release?

Very Important (Please write this behind any 3-wheeled shaking object) : Sagara Nal Therinjuduchu Na Vazhra Nal Naragamaidum

Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We’ll commit when we’re ready, okay? (Silence! Yaaruda  annaga? Pessitu irrukom la….)  Besides, what’s so great about not checking out VijayTM’s trailer? It ruins all the romance, the action, the fights, the Sweety anuska, the ‘Daar’-‘Burr’-‘Surr’ dance, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we’re jaded, but we’ve seen all these other films leap headlong into version 1.0, thinking Vettaikaran is exactly what our audiences have been dreaming of al l their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory – and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Mahesh Babu’s
film or Pavan Kalyan’s philms is kicking their butt, the Tamil Nadu Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on his  Son TV’s blathering sweatily about “a new direction — Eithiran” and “getting back to basics.” No thanks, man. We like our freedom. So, its planned Go-Live is indented in consultation with CERN’s $10 Bn LHC failure commission day as well as N-day for Mr. Obsama!

D-day for Go Live : Is IST 7:00 18th December 2009.

5. If so, why is Vijay hated?

Yes! It’s a logical question to ask.
Yes! It’s a rational question to ask.
So, its best you don’t ask us.

Important ‘Sitting’ Instruction for all Audience : Please don’t watch in thieve DVD (also colloquially known as ‘thirutu DVD’ in a language called Tamil), Can be viewed on Solar® televisions after 2 months from date of release. Offer valid till stocks last .! Rush to your nearest theatre now, or save 99.9% of your investments plus enzyme monoamine oxidase by squatting, & waiting f or 3600 man-hours of un-productive downtime in Soaps, Bulbs & Baby Diapers Inc®.

DISCLAIMER

From time to time, in order to improve VijayTM’s usefulness & purpose for our audiences, Solar® pictures will send packets of  related data from your thought queries like — Anuska, Bikny, 2 piece, Sweety etc (Category: Glamour) — plus — free occasional scenes from our new release (Category: Comedy). All your queries will be processed by thought servers in Soaps & Bulbs Inc ®’s R/3 through ABAP Coding on Release 7.0, data double cleansed & passed via ETL using Informatica & Cognos right from any
theatre running Vijay’s films — Plus twitter, orkut, face book etc. So, if you require privacy please be cautious! Please read our Privacy Policy for more details. Related to viewing by any audience (if any….)  of VijayTM’s Vettaikkaran from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your seats in Satyam / iNOX / PVR / iMax etc to our IS Team’s Business Intelligence ServerPlex™, a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to one Sir. Dr. VijayTM SSLC FAIL, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist (not his left, Pl. note, not his left.. Okay.. ). No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your viewing of Vettaikaaran© or any other current or future VijayTM’s films like Sura etc. will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night mangaathaa pot, or for daapankuthu or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear. Never!

Thanks!
Yours sincerely,

Definitely Not a Vijay fan!

Aiyo

Mission Vettikkaran – Part 1

Target : 2 Vijay fans in Wipro !

Letter 1

Hi Wipro’s Namma Banglore’s Namma Sarjapur’s Namma Vijay association presidents’,

Good afternoon,

I’m sending this mail as a pre-LIVE situations that we face today.

Firstly, Lets figure out why such mails are being sent.   We’ll conduct a brain storming session on such situations & our team’s associate consultants are req. to present a brief presentation reg. the same. Our team here in IS have been doing considerable research on the topic (only in free time) & found the following observations.

You might have hyped the ‘Vijay’ branding incorrectly, for instance. Or (less likely but certainly plausible) we  might have told the audience about ‘Vijay’ incorrectly. Or (far less plausible, but theoretically possible, depending on which ill -defined Grand Unifying Theory of physics one subscribes to), some random fluctuation in the space-time continuum might have produced a shatteringly brief but nonetheless real electromagnetic discombobulating which caused this error to appear in all mails, thereby tarnishing
image of ‘Vijay’. Or (and truth be told, this is by far the most likely scenario) you might have reached a level of saturation for Vijay’s jokes that if meant to create but didn’t get around to it, since this year’s mega budget film got hacked together as molecule s & elements of comedy particles at the last minute, more or less the same way this one did.

There are so many reasons that this might have happened we can scarcely bring ourselves to type them all out. For your reference & necessary action as appropriate.

Kindly do the needful as the matter is of a grave concern & please maintain confidentiality  regards to the same.

P.S : Tommorrow is D-day that we are going on GO LIVE. Vettaikkaran is having comeption from some crap film called Avatar.
Something worth keeping our eyes wide open.

–

Hiyo!

Hiyo

Getting an Passport ~$#%

I had applied for Passport on 15th July 2008.

Procedure was to take a print of the online application that I had and make 2 sets of copies of my documents and wait in the back side line, wherein the form is simply stapled. Following this the main queue is for verification of the details, in which only 3 photo identity documents are necessary. If you are using bank documents etc, then passbook’s running pages must be kept. If you are using tatkal only all documents are necessary. It was a mistake on my part to bring in more details and documents to the passport office. Further it was noted that, for renewal we need to take up the xerox copy of 4 pgs (First 2 pages, Last 2 Pages) and submit along with the passport renewal form, which also can be made online in the same form. The next thing is to sign in 2 PP photos, not the 1st form, followed by which we need to make a payment at the 2nd floor office. This will be concluded by police verification after which the passport will be issued. Sill now no verifiaction has been done.. Too late!

Summary: Best take a tatkal (1 week wait only) paying 1000/- more, else you won;t get work done & will have to wait 4/5 months.

Avira Antivirus Updates…

I found this one quite good.. Avira Premium Security Suite 2008 [with 2 Year Keyz]… Just try downloading the cracked verision….

 http://katz.cd/download/1887619/App/Avira-Premium-Security-Suite-2008/

Instincts SSN Culturals – Web Site & Brochure Details

• Visit Instincts Website - A 3 day Culural Feastival
• Click here to Download the Sponsorship brochure.
• Click here to View the Online Sponsorship brochure.

Ajith Fanclub release… SSN Instincts 08

This is a SSN Ajith Fan Club Release…. Billa 2007 ideation… How’s it…

We need ur support – SSN College Culturals

Hai Friends,

So u already know that the INSTINCTS work is in progress. we need ur full support to make it a great success..

Please list out the potential sponsors that u can make out in the following categories

1.Cine contacts
2.Any higher officials contacts in IT companies,BPO and Mobile networks.
3.Food and other type of stalls.
4.Adds for magazines…
All of them can find people in any one of the above categories. so make a contact list of whom u can approach to get sponsors. The persons Who are going to sponsors will be given OD on that particular day.so please come and join us in our work because this is our INSTINCTS..

You can contact us at any time. We will be available in the IT DEPT room no:92 in the first floor..

Another important work is that This year we want to make our college banners better then the last year’s.so we are try to make the word “INSTINCTS” as an ambigram,though we didnt suceed,we want others to help us and try.The best ambigram will be selected and displayed in banners etc..

Thanks if you are willing to help. (Posted by madhu)

Instincts in SSN – Website Updates

www.INSTINCTS08.com

This is the official web address of the Instincts 2008 website… And incase there’s any problem, queries etc… You may use the shout box feature in the same… The worst thing was many redirections were made from instincts.in which got expired this January 20th!… So the official website www.instincts08.com will feature 2 main links -

(1) HTML-PHP Link – (2007) G10, Jeethu, Joshua (2008 version updates) Navin, SK Praveen, Yuvaraj – Background – Shiva 3rd year et all…

(2) Flex Site – Done by Chockalingam, Aravind Babu, Kartick et all…

Instincts Publicity Campign

 Hi there,

Instincts-related work is going on well. The following are the latest updates:

*) SS Music has agreed to be our television partner (Our cultural festival will be telecast on TV)
*) Radio One has agreed to be our radio partner
*) A rally to promote blood donation will be organized in the coming weeks.
*) Music and Dance shows will be held for a week in orphanages in Chennai with a view to promote Instincts and gain publicity.

Talks are on with Deccan Chronicle, Indian Express and The Hindu to be our print-media partner. We’ve also approached Tamil weekly magazines.

In spite of all this, the only way to reach students directly is through e-mail. So, I kindly request you to send me as many e-mail ids of your friends in other colleges, and if possible, get them to invite “instincts_pr@yahoo.co.in” to their college or class groups.

There will be a small function in the auditorium on the mornings of the second and third days also, during which a few more celebrities will be invited. The following are the possible celebrities who may come:
 =) Vijay
 =) Kamal
 =) T Rajendran
 =) Devi Sri Prasad
 =) Shreya Goshal
 =) Linguswamy
 =) Gautham Menon
 =) Maniratnam
 =) R D Rajasekhar
 =) P C Sriram

A lot more are scheduled to come, the names of whom I’ll let you know in a few days.

Extra attractions this year are:
 =) Best-looking Bike contest
 =) Bike Stunt Show
 =) A DJ in charge of the music system
 =) On-site Voice Hunt Contest by SS Music
 =) Graffiti that you can draw on a big board
 
Come forward with your suggestions and ideas. Sadly, the idea pool is quite dry this year. And for those of you who have not yet joined our yahoo group, the link is

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/culturals_ssnce

Protected: Finance – Letter #1….

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Protected: Final year project ideas….

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Instincts Promo Rally

Last Friday we had a meet with Kala mam… The idea was to make a promotional rally -Theme is Blood donation campign – We’ve arranged some volunteers to work in this line…

The flyers (pamphlets) for the Instincts will be distributed along in the rally to other college students..

My Sample design….

SSN Instincts – 1st year Coordinators List

CSE A 

Ashish – 9996395797 – myrule.ashish@gmail.com
Praneeta – 9444965107 – praneeta71089@yahoo.co.in

ITA

Janane – 9940340999 – crystal_jammy@hotmail.com
Ignastius – 9952051092 – igybeck@gmail.com

Mech

R.Siddarth – 9940576775 – rsthesmart@yahoo.com
Veneesha – 9789851599 – nishacool123@gmail.com

ITB

P.vaishnavi – 9884475216 – vaishuakajaiju@yahoo.co.in
Sriram Sridharan – 9840381291 – srirams_00@yahoo.co.in

CSE B

Shanta – 9884297974 – mail2shanta@gmail.com
Manoj Krishnan – 9940436140 – mann.krishnan@gmail.com

ECE A

Kaavya – 9444537601
Ajay Kartick – 9940993956

BIOMED

N.Balasubramanian – 9840597082
Laxmi – 9940148985

ECE B

Yuvaraj  RS – 9884842448
Pavitra – 9789094916

EEE B

Vignesh S – 9884563397
Soumya V – 9840273507

EEE A

Arun.V – 9790903282 – arunvenkatramani@gmail.com 
Divya R – 43555330 – dhivya.raju@yahoo.co.in

CHEM

Prabha – 9840918109 – gsp_dav@yahoo.co.in
Balaji – 9952040621 – balaaji_red_devils@yahoo.com

Instincts`08 Brochure Revised…. 1st Pg.

Aesthetic as Apple…

Brochures will be ready by Monday atmost…

 

SSN Instincts 2008 – 1 month to go…

Some notes for my team….

1. Our college website has changed the domain… ssn or ssnce.edu.in check it…
2. Hosting is Linux with advanced CpanelX4…
3. All PHP codes is there.. So you need to check with the Dbs & connection strings…
4. Monday – design team – we’ll have a meeeting… Must inform all…
5. Split up…

•  Kishore & Narendar (IT 3rd years) – Multimedia Presentation
•  Yuvaraj & SKP (IT 3rd years)- HTML Website
• Chocky, Kartick & AnandRaj (CSE 3rd years) – Flex Site (Flashy one…)
• Chocky’’s friend (CSE 3rd year) – Music tracks etc..
• Kartick Elangovan (EEE 3rd year)- Banners & Poster
•  Illavarasan (CSE Final year) – Overall Design Commitee Incharge

6. Get good Res. images & patch up the existing site with optimal size
7. Get good stock videos also…
8. Arrange for a video camera… Kishore badly needs it…
9. Get the banner… We can try an effect…
10. Organize the 1st page – Design it today night…
11. Flex site – No need music track if size >500Kb
12. Install PS on the Lab system
13. Keep room key in the hostel… Arrange a room somewhere in GH2
14. Make a PDF copy of the brochure & put it in site… (High Quality & Low Quality…)
15. We’ll talk with Bus in charge & arrange a plan for late start of college vechicles through some routes…
16. 1 week before the event Event cords must come up with a strong schedule which must be put up on web…
17. One guy must do quality work for uploading the sponsor videos / pics on site asap…
18. Banners res. must be >1000 or so… Must keep this fact in mind…

Keep rocking guys..

Web Hosting & Backup details…

Website Hosting

1. The hosting will be done by Nestor Info tech….
2. Total web space charges is 2500/-
3. 350/- for DNS… it will be instincts08.com this time…. Square brothers.com is DNS provider…
4. Next year we’ll use the same way…
5. Give a backup to ur juniors too.. Thats more important…
6. Hosting is for 1 year.. so no problems
7. Pass this backup file (site_frm_bckup.rar) to others too…

 Instincts 2K7 Site Backup – (Click Here)

Instincts SSN – Brochure New Ideas!

My Design Work yesterday…

Revised Instincts Brochure…

Made some revisons today… LG Saravanan has made the initial designs…

SSN Instincts – College Publicity Mockup

Did this Photoshop Mockup work today…

 

SSN Instincts – Logo Design – Phase 2

Some of Ila’s work on Instintcts 2008 logo design… In my opinion 2nd one seems to be nice

Do post your Comments…

SSN Instincts – Final Listing…

The official release of the SSN Isntincts `08 posting are as below…

• Student Convener – Vetri (Final year, Chemical)
• Treasurers – Arun Bala G (Final year, IT) & Navin Ganesh (Final year, ECE)
• IT Coordninator - John Raj R (Final year) 
• ECE Coordinator – Sengothvel (Final year)
• EEE Coordinator – Seshadri Vyas (Final year)
• CSE Coordinator – Avinash Dhinakaran (Final year)
• Joint Seceratry – Madusudan (3rd year)
• Documentation – Soumya (Final year CSE) 

SSN Instincts – Sample PS Mockup

Made a simple photoshop mockup today ….

SSN Instincts – For Vibrations

This is a sample logo for publicity of Instincts ‘08 in SSN Vibrations – A PS work by Ilavarasan & me…

SSN Instincts – Day 8 – Pongal Hols

Wasted 1 day fully… Was with festive glooms… Pongal Holidays… Wish everyone a happy pongal

 Instincts work 

·        Today Aanjhan anna mailed me back Must get the brochure ready…

·        Did some contents for the brochure… John gave me some ideas for the subtitles & themes for Instincts ’08 –

 

• Feel/face the fury
• Get/feel the hunger
• Success starts here
• Sense your/the success
• Feel the pulse
• Creating idols

 Publicity Ideas 

This one is from Kalaingar TV Advertisement rates.

 

Spot rate: Movie : Rs14,000/- per 10 sec

½ hr co-sponsor – Rs 2, 10,000/- with 150 sec FCT

Associate movie sponsor – Rs5,00,000/- with 350 sec FCT

 

Spot rate: other programmes : Rs11,000/- per 10 sec

½ hr co-sponsor – Rs1, 75,000/- with 160 sec FCT

 

• As a matter of fact… All these are too high for our budget… So it’s out of question…
• Press publicity will do I hope… Hindu Education plus write-up came for Anna University’s Kurushtera & PSG’s Kriya… Matter is Anna university’s event clashes with IIT’s Saarang… Too bad…PSG’s Kriya Tech feast is on 1^st to 3^rd February http://www.kriya08.org/

 IEEE Work 

• The T-shirt comes in 2 piece based on material which costs 125/- & 150/-.. Johnny will be bringing the stuffs to college by Wednesday… 
• Must go to CTS on Wednesday, but fix an appointment before going there…

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